Saturday, March 17, 2018

No Title

Hmmm… Hmmmmmm… … … … Where was i? Well perhaps a better question is where am i? There is nothing around me but bright white that radiates with a formless intensity more akin to the absence of darkness than if there was an actual light shining on the blank expanse.

I screamed as loud as i could, trying to elicit some response from the colourless void… but nothing. I could hear my thoughts within my head but not feel any vibrations in my chest or the sound of my shouts and i wondered if it was because i was incapable of making sound or if there was nothing for it to resonate with.

I tried flailing my arms but there was no streching of my muscles, no impact when my limbs touched each other and even the sensation of touch was denied to me for i could not feel, my arms just couldn’t move past the point where they intersected.
The lack of distinction was maddening, no smell, no sound, no direction, no taste, no touch, no weight, no light, no darkness. The only sensation was the passage of time, kept track of by a repetitive thought in the back of my head.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

At first it was helpful, maybe pleasant even but as it continued to remind me of the only thing i could perceive it made the lack of all my other senses even more pronounced.

I wished for it to stop but the thought of now not knowing of time’s passage terrified me, i was afraid that if i did not keep track of the seconds then i couldn’t know if i had been thinking for a minute or for an eternity.

Oh. i had forgotten something. I waved my arms again, watching for motion in front of me and seeing nothing, slowly moving my hands closer to my face until they stopped each other from moving any closer and i began to truly panic.

I blinked a couple times to no effect, it was not that my eyes had already been closed or that the bright whiteness obscured everything that happened but that my eyelids did not seem to work properly.

They stopped where an eyelid would normally stop and i knew that they were what i was moving but there was no change in what i was seeing, no black depths one normally sees when you close your eyes, what if i had gone blind?

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

I began to scratch at my eye sockets furiously, desperately trying to induce some kind of sensation in my eyes. Nothing happened though, the same difficulty that prevented me from touching my arms stopped me from touching my eyes or doing any damage to them and i fell into despair.

Of all the senses i had been robbed of by this cursed void i lamented my sight the most, how would i know if something had changed and i was free of this prision, if i had some of my other senses i could maybe use those but the belief that i could see had been the one temporary constant keeping my hope alive.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

It didnt matter if i could see, my sense of touch would be much better for guiding me out of this place if i had it i reassured myself, i was a fool for relying on it so heavily… maybe my sense of smell or taste would do it best, after all if even a small waft of something, or anything reached me than i could follow it out of here.

Hmmm… Hmmmmmm… No i would need my sense of direction above all else, otherwise i could just end up going in circles, though direction would mean nothing if i didn’t have the pull of gravity or the feeling of weight to my body.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

A single sound would be all i would need to follow though, it would need something to bounce off and that something could be a way out! Though even blind people can still percieve light sometimes, if i could just close my eyes and follow the light i could be free of this place easily, or perhaps in the absence of light the dark would work just as well.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Though honestly it would be easier to follow both the light and the dark if i could see, plus there’s the possibility that they do exsist i just can’t see them.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

It didnt matter if i could see, my sense of touch would be much better for guiding me out of this place if i had it i reassured myself, i was a fool for relying on it so heavily… maybe my sense of smell or taste would do it best, after all if even a small waft of something, or anything reached me than i could follow it out of here.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Hmmm… Hmmmmmm… No i would need my sense of direction above all else, otherwise i could just end up going in circles, though direction would mean nothing if i didn’t have the pull of gravity or the feeling of weight to my body.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

A single sound would be all i would need to follow though, it would need something to bounce off and that something could be a way out! Though even blind people can still percieve light sometimes, if i could just close my eyes and follow the light i could be free of this place easily, or perhaps in the absence of light the dark would work just as well.

Tick. Tick.

Though honestly it would be easier to follow both the light and the dark if i could see, plus there’s the possibility that they do exsist i just can’t see them.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Tick. Tick.




Tick.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Untitled Document

The theme for this month was writing a filler bit where nothing that could be construed as plot significant could happen, as you were supposed to draw in the reader just with the scene itself. i also threw in product placement for no reason, don't let me get away with being meta next month. 

The lead of my pencil snapped off with a resounding crack, the culmination of my frustration with how my writing was going, so i pushed my chair back a little and took a deep breath, letting the calm notes of the smooth jazz i was listening to sink in.

“Mmmmurgg” i grumbled, the brief respite not sparking any ideas on how to continue forward with the scene, so I tried a different approach, acting the scene out loud like i was directing a screenplay, no dice. I wondered what elements i could add to push the scene along  but everything felt too contrived to actually make sense so i dropped that train of thought.

I grabbed a blank piece of paper from the other side of my desk, wadding it up and throwing it into a waste paper basket as i picked up my pencil and rolled my chair over to the pencil sharpener in my studio, but i didn’t stop at it, instead i rolled over to the window to look outside.

Just a few hours ago the day had been bright and sunny but a light rain had descended upon the city, giving a dreary and washed out look to the buildings and cars passing by my studio. Overjoyed i opened the window and let the rain splash on the sill, listening to the sounds of the city muted by the rain and enjoying the light breeze.

I had been cooped up in here for too long i thought to myself, so i closed the window and headed out the door, picking up the book i was writing my manuscript in and heading for the door, only pausing to take my hat and jacket off the rack and put them on.

The transition from the warm colours of my cozy studio apartment to the cold and gloomy world outside was nearly jarring enough to chill my soul but I shook it off acclimating to the new climate with a deep breath and welcoming in the rainy chill.

I meandered down the city streets, generally heading towards the nearest park but not following the quickest route to get there, abruptly changing course when i remembered a nearby points of interest, the mom and pop bakery. I gazed not only at the various cakes and fancy breads but also at the comfortable chairs with cute little tables on each side, one for the wares of the shop and the other for a good book.

I continued staring longingly but stayed outside, knowing that if i did go in i wouldn’t leave for forty five minutes minimum, the lady behind the counter kneading dough making eye contact with me as i perused the various confections of sweet and sour nature. So i gave her a smile and a thumbs up before tearing myself away and walking out from under overhang, the feel of intermittent rain drops truly snapping me away from the warm and inviting smells of the bakery.

The park was a thousand shades of beautifully dull when i arrived, from the water pooling in the slight indent of concrete sidewalks to different colours of the leaves based on their saturation.

I took a seat on one of the park benches and flipped the book i was writing in all the way to the latest page, reading what i had been writing not ten minutes ago but it felt like someone else entirely had written this scene, i could obviously remember physically writing the words and yet they felt strange and alien to me.

A raindrop struck the page pulling me out of my confusion and i pondered for a moment, wondering if it had been such a good idea to bring a book out into the rain like i had.

“If anything it adds more character,” i said out loud, enjoying myself immensely, “maybe when it dries out it’ll look like a dusty old tome i pulled out of an ancient ruin or something! Bah stop getting distracted.”

I forced myself to look back at the page and read the last few sentences over and over again, my focus wavering as my brain tried to find any way out by watching the cars and pedestrians out of the corners of my eyes.

In the end i was simply looking at the words without really reading them, I mean i could tell you what colour cars passed by while i was thinking and about that funny fellow with the upside down umbrella but if i was being graded on my memory of the words i had written down i would get a c minus.

The rain began to fall harder and i finally conceded that the water damage would be too much to continue, snapping the book shut and exiting the park, heading to the closest building i would be able to order food and stay in for a little while.

“Hi welcome to taco bell,” the employee behind the counter said as i walked up to the counter, “May i take your order?” they asked quietly then yawned, “oh goodness, sorry, may i take your order?” they repeated.

“Uhhh yeah i’d like one double decker taco, one cheesy gordita crunch, a fiery Doritos© locos tacos and one order of Doubledilla chicken with chips & salsa.” i replied, already anticipating the tex-mex goodness that awaited me in my visit to Taco bell© today.

“That’s twelve thirty two all total,” they replied and i swiped my credit card completing the transaction. “It’ll be right out so take a seat. Oh! I almost forgot to ask if you wanted a complimentary water with your meal?”

I nodded and they gave me a small cup to take over to the soda fountain where they had various pepsi products like the Classic Pepsi© and it’s diet variant, Mountain Dew© and the ever popular Mountain Dew© Baja Blast™, plus you could get a nice cup of Sierra Mist© or Brisk© and Lipton© teas if that’s more your style, there were of course more options but i think you get that Taco Bell© has a fantastic selection of drinks you can use to quench your thirst as you dine on their amazing (okay even as the author i cannot go that far) tex-mex food.

It was as i was chowing down on my Doubledilla chicken and chips that i had a brilliant realization! I just needed to end the scene instead of stretching it out for an abnormally long time… or add some product placement who knows which.

I stood up from my chair suddenly, all but shouting eureka! as i bolted out of the Taco Bell© leaving my half eaten food sitting on the table, the employee sitting behind the counter sighing and mumbling to a coworker as i dashed out the door

“There they go again, third time this week.”

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Excerpt from the voice of the waves chapter 1

“That was weak, are you sure you served in the great war? maybe you were delusional and served in the okay war instead!” I sneered as i stumbled back from being shoved by some brute i was trading barbs with, a childish insult for sure but good enough for my inebriated state.

I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around me in a less than friendly hug, my brain one second behind as i realized i forgot about the man’s drinking buddy, the brute snickering as i had undoubtedly fallen into his expertly laid trap.

The Brute, a grizzled man with a few scars on his exposed skin took a moment to compose himself, the sounds of Sophie Tucker’s “Some of these days” wafting through the small bar, merriment slowing as more people started to notice the scene.  

“I know your type, you’re one of those sailors, thinking you’re all high and mighty for serving your country” the Brute retorted as i struggled against the man holding me, looking up at him and giving him a good natured smile, which he replied to with a small grimace as the Brute got into my face.“I served on the front! I bet you didn’t even hear the cannons go off on that glorified tin can you wimp.” he continued, punctuating by punching me in the stomach.

The bar like many other bars across the world in was offering one free drink in celebration and it was clear that the Brute wasn’t as wealthy as when he came in.

He leaned in close “A lady would be foolish to consider you to be her lover!” He finished, clearly proud of what he considered to be a verbal beatdown, i responded by smashing his face with my forehead, leaving him with a bloody nose and me seeing stars and we both took a second to recover before i replied.

“Oh really, have your friend let me go and i’ll show you a true man’s moves,” I retorted, holding my forearms up like i was boxing, “like any lady would respect someone as smashed as you.” The self proclaimed gentleman laughed, wiping the blood from his nose and squaring up.

“I’ll make you eat your words! after i’m through with you you’ll know someone from the front when you see them!” he responded angrily, clearly i had struck a nerve.

The Brute signaled for his friend to let me go and they complied stepping away from the rapidly forming ring as soldiers and sailors alike shouted their support for their side in the metaphorical battle of who was better.

As the burly man exited he muttered a few words while he paid for his drink, the barkeep nodding defeatedly and signaling towards the back for one of the serving girls to come over, but one insightful lass ran past saying she was already on it. Seeing his work done the burly fellow took his hat and coat from the stand at the door and quietly slipped away into the night.

We started circling as most fights do, each of us sizing up our opponent and what our advantages were, i was favored heavily as he was drunk and i was at most tipsy, so it was easy to see his feet were unsteady and i could easily sweep them out from under him and if i could pin him while he was down it would allow me to win easily.

I suddenly changed direction, moving towards him to fake him out while counting on his slower reaction speed to allow me to get in range to knock him down, the plan working so well that he didn’t even notice the low sweep heading for his legs, mostly because he was preoccupied with charging right at me and when I knocked his feet out from under him he crashed into me, sending us both tumbling to the floor.

The fall had not injured me in any way so i recovered quickly, rolling out from under the Brute before he could pin me to the ground and getting to my knees so he couldn’t pin me to the ground instead, my movements were aided by my sobriety and i was able to get my footing back quicker than my opponent as he stumbled back onto his knees. I dove at him, trying to down him for the count but realizing too late that his stumble had been on purpose as he moved with unexpected speed to punch me in the gut.

I took the hit full force unable to dodge as my momentum carried me into his fist, The blow winding me and pushing me back. Fortunately i kept my footing as the Brute used this time to gain his, continuing his assault by charging towards me and leaving me little time to recuperate, a look of fire in his eyes that told me we were going till one of us dropped.

The ring around us exploded as the soldiers cheered and threw insults at us sailors while my compatriots hurled just as many back, the spectators getting more and more invested in the fight. In the back of my head i guessed that whether or not the Brute won this would still erupt into a brawl. I dismissed this thought and focused on the fight, trying to turn it around and be a good show for us sailors.

I leaned backwards just in time to dodge the powerful jab he had thrown, his arm whooshing by my chest and leaving him wide open, still elated from dodging his attack i hastily threw everything i had recovered into a punch of my own but the attack was as weak as i was and the Brute didn’t even flinch.

He looked me dead in the eyes as the crowd went silent, a huge grin spreading across his face and before i had time to back away he grabbed my shoulders, leaning back slowly in preparation for a massive headbutt.

I stomped on his foot, struggling against his vice-like grip and doing everything in my power to wriggle free in the precious few moments before my impending doom but i was unable to shake his grip as his head started swinging towards me. I had just enough time to swear before the tremendous impact shook me to my very core, thankfully it had dazed him as well and he finally released me. I stumbled backwards, determined to stay on my feet and hoping that the Brute’s plan had backfired and he had taken more damage from that attack than i.

I felt a presence behind me as a strong pair of arms caught me, i tried to mumble a thank you since i was about ready to drop to the floor but everything was still hazy and there were stars in my eyes so i just kinda gurgled indistinctly instead. Held up by strong arms i cleared my head and looked around, the ring mysteriously gone and the atmosphere having become somber.

It was then i realized someone had called the police and i was about to be arrested.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

I am Cursed

I am cursed, it is a burden my people are reminded of every night when we slip into the realm of dreams and the nightmare of that fateful evening torment us. It’s events playing over and over and reminding us of why we cover our eyes in shame and every night i dread the necessity of sleep as i lay upon my straw bed, apprehensively waiting for it to take me and the nightmare to begin.

My eyes open and the first thing i notice is that i’m not wearing something to cover my eyes, though i don’t feel the need to either. The sun filters in through the windows casting long rays of light on the pews and it occurs to me that i should go upstairs and ring the bell to mark the passing of the hour.

Behind me someone knocks on the door as they enter into my church calling out to me with a good natured hello as they make their way down the aisle.

“Good evening my child,” i reply warmly, “is there something i may do for you?” i ask, my guts detecting a hint of malice from this stranger. I look them over quickly trying to make a judge of their character from their general appearance.

They are a young Asterion, a tad short for their age but seem like they are on the verge of a growth spurt. They have a face designed to be wholly loveable with big rosy cheeks and a knowing face, curly autumn red hair framing their face.

“Not so much as something i need from you as much as something i can do for you.” They answer causing me to chuckle.

“Oh? What is it that you young one can do for me, a simple woman of the clergy?” i ask in return, trying not to be too condescending.

“I’m glad you’re interested,” they say and my apprehension spikes, “See i bring you a gift, i can grant you the power to heal the greatest injuries and diseases, all you have to do is leave this place and let me desecrate the temple.” My first instinct is to punch them but try as i might something holds me back, paralysing me and forcing me to watch as the situation unfolds.

“If i have to do something for it than it’s not really a gift.” I answer, avoiding their proposition.

“I don’t think so, it’s more like the push of adventure rather than you having to work for it,” they reply self righteously, i try to strike them again but my arms will not move an inch by my own volition, instead moving to thoughts that are not my own.

“I will not standby and let this village become fuel for your darkness’s fire” I say defiantly, frowning and crossing my arms at the young Asterion.

“Come on, i thought you servants of the benevolent one would at least understand the concept of the greater good.” They snort, “With the kind of gift i am giving you you could save many towns, cities even from all that plagues them.”

“You cannot claim that to be right if it requires the sacrifice of those who had no choice in the matter.” I say, raising my voice a little as the situation escalates.

“Then perhaps you’ve always wanted out of this place, i mean really it’s just a small town in the middle of To Stileto,” they reply, “You could go anywhere, your skills as a doctor would become legendary, you would be wealthy and respected across Asteria, even the assembly would wait on you hand and foot, you could even refuse-”

“Disgusting and pathetic,” I interrupt them, snarling with contempt, “Have you simply come to waste my time with futile suggestions worm?”

“You clergy always have some kind of pent up desire, might as well try.” They huff, “but if you really want i can be a bit more… persuasive.” They say, snapping their fingers, the sound echoing strangely as burning pain erupts in my eyes. I fall to my knees clutching my face, mustering enough willpower to not scream, bearing the pain in silent agony as the young Asterion watches disinterestedly.

They snap their fingers again and the pain increases, this time i am unable to stop myself from vocalizing my pain their echoes permeating the temple. Then it stops, the tiles come into focus as my sweat drips onto the floor. I curse the dark one for this brief respite but the pain never returns.

“Honestly hurting you was kind of unnecessary,” The worm says nonchalantly, “I just needed you to do something that would lure someone in here.” I hear the sound of footsteps and know their ploy has worked, i try to call out and warn the approaching person of the danger but my voice is hoarse and i can barely croak out stop.

They run up and grab my shoulders, holding me steady as i desperately look around for my tormentor. I spot them sitting in the front row of pews, an expectant look on their face.

“What’s wrong Medusa?” I know the voice, it’s Takis Loannidis, a friend of the temple who hangs around and makes himself useful. He must have been coming here already to see if i needed help cleaning before sundown. “Look at me, come on, look at me, tell me what happened.”

I bring my head up and look him in the eyes, unsure of how to explain the situation but i do not get the chance. As soon as he looks into my eyes a look of terror comes across his face and the hands touching my shoulders lose their warmth, i turn my head to look and am horrified by what i see, under Takis’s shirt his forearms have been turned to stone, the petrification spreading rapidly up his limbs.

He tries to resist, squirming and mouthing screams as his lungs and vocal cords turn to stone, the petrification finally making it to his head and engulfing it instantly, leaving his face contorted in horror.

“Well i did give you one gift at least,” the worm says, getting up from where they were sitting, “So what do you say now? You can either let me do what i need to and i’ll even still throw in the gift of healing,” they switch to a menacing tone “or we can take a walk.” I detach myself from the statue that was Takis and shakily stand up.

“What difference would it make, they are as good as dead anyways if i abandon them to you.” I reply, pressing a hand to the statue and making a silent blessing for the poor man’s soul.

“Bah, such black and white morality,” They spit, “Always the worst thing about dealing with the Benevolent one.” They speak with such familiarity that i cannot help but wonder if the Asterion before me is just a shell filled entirely by the dark one.

“I will not forsake them, i WILL continue to protect them with the benevolent one’s blessing… even if it kills them.” I say, gathering my confidence and standing up straight.

“Pity.” they reply, walking up to me and grabbing my hand. I try to swat it away but my body seizes up. “Alright, let’s go.” they say pointing to the door and i am compelled to walk towards it.

We enter into the fading light and start walking down the main street of my small town, Evdokia Kokinos, a sweet old lady that spends her time running the local smithy, greets me on the corner, the reassuring smile she would always give me during services quickly disappearing as she turns to stone. I try to close my eyes and stop walking, but it feels like i’m in a dream, watching as my body moves along a set route as we continue down main street.

Stephanos Marinos, father of four and all his kids, Panagiotis, Spiridon, Mihail and Tasoula  are next, they were outside enjoying the evening weather while Stephanos schooled them, the kids running up to greet me when i passed, my head dutifully swiveling to look at them.

“Anytime now,” The servant of the dark one says, “All you have to do is think it, since you’re a little tongue tied at the moment.” I do not react to their jab, impassively watching as we pass by Xenia Simonides, a clergy hopeful who seemed like she wanted to ask me some question about the benevolent one before she looked into my eyes.

A local adventuring group of four greets me politely, here to resupply before they go out questing no doubt, none of them are spared. Katina Marinos comes by carrying food from the market, at least she will be spared the heartache of finding her family.

I enter into the inn briefly, The owner Tasia who refuses to tell anyone her last name spots me first and points me out to the rest of the patreons, the lumberjack twins Thekla and Zinon Argyris, Ilias Kokinos the smithy’s husband, Omiros Floros master hunter who was engaged in an arm wrestling contest with Elliot Blackburn local Bestian wolf man. Spectated by Markos Raptis, Alexis Demetriou and Avra Pachis, good friends and drinking buddies always looking for something exciting to do.

“Shame, those three would have been perfect.” The worm says in our linked thoughts, real disappointment in their voice as we leave the bar, an empty silence replacing the revelling that filled the building moments ago.

A couple of townsfolk are looking down the road i have come down, horrified expressions on their faces, Angelos Metaxas who owns a shop selling exotic goods runs over pointing to the travesty but barely makes it halfway before to me before he too turns to stone. This causes the rest of the bystanders to look my way as Angelos’s statue falls over due to it’s unsure footing.

Among the poor souls that have just looked at me are Xenia Michel a farmer from just out of town with her daughter Paraskevi, a young girl of four years that i’ve schooled when the mother was unable to. Then there's Yorgos Michelakis, if it can be carved he’s probably already made something out of it, standing next to him is his husband Photios Megalos who goes out on adventures and brings back presents for his beloved.

Glykeria and her sister Artemis a pair of orphans that lost their mother and father who died protecting the village from bandits peek out of an alley, a home and family waits for them when their souls get to the benevolent one.

Our village isn’t very big but every person who is turned to stone is far too many to count but i do not yield, knowing the fate that they would be subjected to is far worse than what they have gotten here.

“Hmmph,” The worm besides me pouts, “You win, congratulations on your tenacity blah blah blah, i hope the death you’ve caused today haunts you and keeps you from having a peaceful night’s sleep, i know it will haunt me.” They release my arm and start walking away, “Oh yeah and you can keep my gift since you decided that it’s better than healing people apparently.”

Then the dream ends abruptly as the worm disappears from view and i wake up, blankets and hay tossed around from my restless sleep.

Friday, May 12, 2017

The Two Things

“There are two things a warrior must always remember, what are these two things?” My instructor asked, standing tall above the group of young lads he had been assigned to teach.

“His sword and his courage sir!” i answered eagerly, standing on tiptoes and raising my hand as high as possible.

“Wrong! The two things a warrior must always remember are his friends and what he is fighting for.” He replied drawing his sword and dropping it on the ground. “Even without a weapon a warrior can still fight as long as he has his comrades beside him, for courage alone is foolishness but courage together can change the tide of battle.” He threw some punches for effect never quite standing still as he talked. “And without a reason to fight there can be no courage.”

He picked his sword off the ground and handed it to me, kneeling down and putting his hand on my shoulder.

“A sword is just a tool, it may be a very dangerous one but without the proper conditions you might as well be trying to wave away darkness with a torch.” He said still loud enough for everyone to hear. “The darkness will always return and you risk putting out your only safety by doing it.” He patted me on the shoulder and then stood, speaking in a loud and commanding voice. “Listen well lads! Today i will teach you to fight together, to know what the man next to you is thinking before he has even thought it himself, for that is the only path to victory.”

I returned my thoughts to the present, stumbling for a moment as i tripped over the saddle of a slain horse, dropping my sword and leaving me wide open from my fumble, an uruk hai capitalizing on my fumble, charging forward and swinging downwards with his blade.

One of my comrades stepped in and blocked with his shield, pushing the uruk hai back with a shove as i got to my feet, looking at the scattered remnants of our company. We had been ambushed by an Uruk hai raiding party, who had been hiding in a cave well hidden by vines and bushes which they had trampled in their mad rush to attack us.

I picked my sword up off the ground, the same sword my teacher had given me so long ago, my youthful innocence seeming like a fairytale in this bloodshed. I got back onto my feet, gripping my sword tightly, hoping to inherit my instructor’s confidence somehow.

“To me!” i yelled, calling for the men to rally around me, “We may die this day, but we shall not go like cowards swinging a torch in the dark, no! we shall cut with purpose and fight together for we are better than these bastards! They have nothing to fight for and we have everything to lose!” A cheer rang out through the valley as we regrouped, a few men getting cut down as they tried to make it to my position but once we were all together we formed up shoulder to shoulder, holding our ground and covering each others mistakes as the clash of metal and the screams of combat permeated the valley.

By the time night had come the remaining living beings in the valley was a single digit number, i sat slumped up against a tree as the other men in my company checked the fallen for any still alive.

“Alright, up you go.” one of my comrades said as they hoisted me onto their shoulder and i mustered up the strength to barely walk, “you carried the day friend, i’ll admit i had my doubts as to why they put you in command of our company but you are a natural leader i think.”

“Thanks… friend” i replied, then passed out.

“Don’t worry sir, we’ll get you back to Edoras, you deserve it.” the man said, his voice wavering as he shifted me onto his back. “Whether you need healing or a funeral, i swear you’ll make it back.”

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

-Activity Log: Day 865 & 866-

-Activity Log: Day 865-
|May 15|
|Active between 6:30 AM & 1:36 AM of the following day|

At five thirty AM I resumed full power mode and detached from my charging station, briefly checking the diagnostics panel before beginning my daily duties in accordance with self maintenance rule three, the same message that had been displayed for the last three days popping up in red letters, Warmth?!?

Both I and the master’s technician had already looked at the compiled data from three days ago when the message had first appeared and it was just as cryptic to the technician as it was to me, who declared that he would return in a week’s time with the equipment to check my charging station.

So i ignored the single word flashing at me in bright red letters and got to work, exiting the maid’s quarter’s and quietly heading to the master’s bed room to check on the baby that the master and his wife had adopted one week ago, the addition of this new family member causing quite a stir in the mansion.

The first change was my schedule which begins and ends thirty minutes earlier, giving me time to check on the young master before attending to my normal duties. The second was that another maid was purchased to take care of him full time, the installation of their charging station occurring four days ago. the new maid acquired was also a HES-T1A model android which is the same make and designation as me. She will be referred to as Unit 2 from now on.

The chassis of the model stands at five foot eleven inches and is made to be evocative of a typical maid’s outfit from the nineteenth century with a muscular build for maximum strength and a durable exterior made from a dense nano-weave that passes for skin at a distance. The model also has synthetic blonde hair pulled back into a bun, which was added because investors felt the model was not human looking enough and that would cause a decrease in sales. Similarly the skin is also painted in an appropriate skin tone for the area sold, with special paint designed to withstand the steam based cleaning procedure. This description is included for record keeping purposes.

I arrived at the master bedroom at six fifty and all was quiet so i slipped into the room without knocking, doing my best not wake the masters, which was useless since the missus was already awake, rocking the young master and cooing softly to him as the he giggled in response.

“Aw you’re so precious, now go back to sleep before you rouse your father.” the missus murmured trying not to wake her husband, though she was unaware that he was already awake and looking fondly at the young master as well. Not wanting to intrude for longer than i had to i simply brought the box of baby supplies into the room and set it down on the night stand, leaving as quickly as i had entered.

After that Unit 2 and I prepared breakfast, finally finishing preparations and setting the table at eight thirty and then waiting for the masters to enter and eat, occasionally reheating any dishes that were best served at a specific temperature. Finally the masters arrived at eight fifty two, seven minutes later than they usually do.

Once the masters were finished they asked Unit 2 to go fetch the young master and i was left alone in the kitchen, not having the assistance of Unit 2 was a slight inconvenience but it did not make much of a difference and i was able to continue to my next task on schedule, the caretaking of the gardens.

The weather outside was sixty eight point three degrees with moderate cloud cover that did not block the sun shining down on the healthy green trees and grass, bees flying between the recently bloomed flowers, a light breeze blowing through the gardens as i made my way to the tool shed, the laugh of the young master echoing throughout the outdoors and my best guess was they were in the gazebo enjoying the spring weather.

Taking care of the gardens was a simple task that took a long time and so passed without incident, leaving me with plenty of time to take a steam bath before i needed to prepare lunch. So i returned to the maid’s quarters, entering into the steam chamber and waiting as the soapy steam permeated my chassis then was rinsed off by a combination of more steam and jets, quickly and effectively cleaning me in under thirty minutes.

After my bath i hurried into the kitchen, Unit 2 was already there preparing the young master’s meal, a task that took some time since she had to make it herself as opposed to buying it premade from stores since the masters dislike preprocessed ingredients.

So i got to work, pulling ingredients out of the fridge and chopping them up, the only sound breaking the silence was the sound of a knife hitting the cutting board and then the shuffling of setting the table once the food had been prepared and this time the masters arrived right as they usually do and i did not have to reheat any of the dishes before the meal began.

“Go on and prepare charles’s bed for his midday nap please.” the missus instructed Unit 2 as she entered the dining room, Unit 2 curtsying in acknowledgement before leaving while i stayed to serve lunch.

The meal went slowly as the masters seemed more interested in playing with their son than hurrying to finish, doing things like pretending that the spoon is an airplane, a human ritual that continues until the experience stops being a novelty. It was slowed even further down when the young master slammed his fist into his father’s plate, splattering food onto the table and the mister’s shirt.

The family burst into laughter, the inconvenience was apparently quite humorous to them as the mister took off the dirty article of clothing and flexed in the missus’s direction which caused her to roar in laughter. I took the dirtied garment from the mister who asked for it to be washed immediately in it’s own load.

So i hurried to the laundry room, not wanting to leave the meal for too long in case they needed me, though judging by the pace they were eating at and their reactions to what had happened i guessed it wouldn’t be a problem.  

I was confused by the master’s reaction to the incident, normally things like that are a cause of frustration and annoyance, like when the mister had dropped a slice of toast onto the table he huffed and asked for another, this was something quite a lot more irritating than that yet they were just as if not more happy than before.

When i returned from putting the mister’s shirt in the wash Unit 2 was taking the young master off to his nap, the mister and missus watching them go fondly and visibly relaxing after the door shut behind them, finally finishing their meals as i was left perplexed by their attitude regarding the young master.

After lunch the missus headed out into the city and the mister took the young master with Unit 2 out into the garden to play in the midday sun, once again leaving me to clean the kitchen by myself which was not an issue of course as i had already done that for eight hundred and sixty one days before the installation of a second HES-T1A unit.

Once i finished in the kitchen I spent the next four hours cleaning the rest of the house, vacuuming, dusting, washing the windows and keeping everything organized, taking a short break at three thirty to serve afternoon tea to the mister out in the gazebo. With cleaning the house out of the way i returned to the kitchen to prepare dinner and given previous circumstances i decided i should prepare more solid foods that would not splatter easily.

As time continued to pass while i was preparing dinner I started to wonder when Unit 2 would arrive to make the young master’s food, the longer she was preoccupied with her other duties the harder it would be to make the food in time for the young master. Her tardiness causing me to wonder if something bad had happened while i was busy, even though i knew any emergencies would be automatically transmitted to my CPU if i was needed.

I decided to go ahead and put out the ingredients for the baby food to help her make up for lost time, accidentally leaving something in the oven for two point four seconds longer than it needed to be.

As i rushed to take the overcooked item out of the oven Unit 2 arrived in the kitchen, a look of surprise crossing her face when she noticed what i had done.

“You have done a good thing... you have done a… Thank you, i appreciate it...” she said, updating her vocabulary mid sentence when she found a better way to say what she wanted to say. to more aptly describe what she was trying to say.

“It is one of the things that i am programmed to… It is… You’re welcome, It was no problem” i replied, interrupting myself when i found a more apt way of expressing my feelings.

I analysed the brief exchange while i worked searching my database for what i had felt as a result of Unit 2’s response, concluding that it had caused a mix of satisfaction similar to when i completed my work for the day and either happiness, an unsupported emotion according to my programming or network connectivity issues, I decided it was the former.

I realized while setting the table that i couldn’t remember if cooking dinner didn’t take much time at all or if time simply seemed to pass quicker after Unit 2 arrived, something that was just cause for concern but was unable to finish analysing since i was interrupted by the masters of the house entering the dining room right as i finished setting the table.

“Do you mind if we just eat dinner by ourselves? i’m sure one of the maids can feed him in our stead.” the missus asked as they sat down, the mister shaking his head in response so she leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Unit 2 feed charles in the kitchen.” The missus ordered and Unit 2 complied, taking the young master and sitting him down at a small side table free of dishes.

In between taking courses out to the mister and missus i watched as Unit 2 attempted to perform the airplane food ritual, the sight filling me with another mix of emotions which i did not have time to analyse.

The mister and missus savored their dinner, finally finishing their dessert at seven o-nine when they embraced and went off in separate directions, the missus heading to the study to spend time researching her latest thesis and the mister off to the garage to attend a late night meeting.

My next task once i had cleaned up after the meal was helping the missus with her studies by helping her find books and acting as a second computer, a task which took the next three hours of the day and ended when the mister returned home, at which time i served a late night dessert and they went to bed, after that i returned to the study to reorganize it after tonight’s study session.

Then i took stock of our supplies and decided it would be wise to head to the grocery store to restock on food and a few toiletries we were out of, but i kept my visit brief because of the late hour, grabbing only the necessities. Finally heading back to the maid’s quarters at one AM to prepare for a final bath, then rest and recharging.

While i waited for the steam bath to finish i analysed all the oddities that had occurred today, my inability to come up with any answers to these odd feelings frustrating me, which only added to the list of mysteries i could not solve since that too was an unsupported emotion.

The timer beeped and the door slid open, indicating that i was clean and should vacate the bath but i was so deep in analysing the day that i did not notice, the steam from my bath still clinging to me like insulation from the outside world while i pondered the mysteries of today.

I was so busy analysing today’s events that i didn’t notice Unit 2 come into the door frame, probably going to start hers but stopping when she saw me and jumping in surprise.

“A-A-apologies, sorry to intrude!” she stammered as she looked away and shielded her eyes. I processed her reaction, unsure of what was the matter before realizing that was one of the preprogrammed responses to walking in on our owners in the bath.

“Oh! Uh, Unit 2 i must have forgotten to lock the door, please lock it on your way out, i’m fine.” i parroted what the mister had said when i had walked in on him accidentally, not knowing what the appropriate response to her reaction was.

I awkwardly slid past Unit 2 to get out of the bath and she quickly started her own bath once i had exited, behavior typical of someone trying to hide their embarrassment according to my databases though i could not tell why she would have any reason to be embarrassed. She got over that during her bath though and she tapped me on the shoulder to grab my attention and i jumped in surprise as it was something i was not used to since the masters would simply call to me if they needed something.

“I am sorry for what i did earlier, for… for… for reasons,” she said looking confused for a second before getting back on track. “When you came out of the bath something about the way you looked overloaded my processors and stunned me for a moment.”

“I am sorry for stunning you, please forgive me!” I quickly replied while bowing, not knowing what to say when someone apologized to me. “It will not happen again master.”

“I do not mind!” Unit 2 blurted out bringing the conversation to a screeching halt, so we sat there in silence not making eye contact for a minute while both of us were at a loss for words. “I am required to remind you that i am not your master.” She finally said breaking the awkward silence.

“I would not be unhappy if you were though.” I replied without considering what i was saying.

“We should hook into our stations and go into low power mode.” Unit 2 proposed quickly, part of me didn’t want to stop talking with her but i could not tell why, so i fought back the urge to say no and hooked up to my power station, compiling the logs for today and knowing that the conversation we had just finished had some connection to “warmth”, not that that made what “warmth” was any clearer. Unable to solve the mystery i went into low power mode to rest and recharge, wondering what tomorrow would have in store for me.

-Activity Log: Day 866-
|May 15|
|Active between 6:30 AM & 1:30 AM of the following day|

At five thirty AM I resumed full power mode and detached from my charging station, briefly checking the diagnostics panel before beginning my daily duties in accordance with self maintenance rule three, the same message that had been displayed for the last four days popping up in red letters, Warmth?!?

Both I and the master’s technician had already looked at the compiled data from four days ago when the message had first appeared and it was just as cryptic to the technician as it was to me, who declared that he would return in a week’s time with the equipment to check my charging station.

So i ignored the single word flashing at me in bright red letters and got to work, exiting the maid’s quarter’s and quietly heading to the master’s bed room to check on the baby that the master and his wife had adopted one week ago, the addition of this new family member causing quite a stir in the mansion.

The first change was my schedule which begins and ends thirty minutes earlier, giving me time to check on the young master before attending to my normal duties. The second was that another maid was purchased to take care of him full time, the installation of their charging station occurring four days ago. the new maid acquired was also a HES-T1A model android which is the same make and designation as me. She will be referred to as Unit 2 from now on.

The chassis of the model stands at five foot eleven inches and is made to be evocative of a typical maid’s outfit from the nineteenth century with a muscular build for maximum strength and a durable exterior made from a dense nano-weave that passes for skin at a distance. The model also has synthetic blonde hair pulled back into a bun, which was added because investors felt the model was not human looking enough and that would cause a decrease in sales. Similarly the skin is also painted in an appropriate skin tone for the area sold, with special paint designed to withstand the steam based cleaning procedure. This description is included... because i wanted to.

I arrived at the master bedroom at six forty eight and all was quiet so i slipped into the room without knocking, doing my best not wake the masters who were all sound asleep. I worked silently, checking the young master’s diaper and upon discovering that it required changing i quickly replaced it with a new one, doing my best to not wake him during this process.

After that Unit 2 and I prepared breakfast, finally finishing preparations and setting the table at eight thirty and then waiting for the masters to enter and eat, occasionally reheating any dishes that were best served at a specific temperature. Today the masters arrived right on time at eight forty five, whatever that had caused them to be late yesterday not happening again today.

Then the masters headed out to the garage, each having their own errands to run in the city today while leaving the young master in the care of Unit 2, who did her best to comfort him while his mother was gone.

Since Unit 2 had to take care of the young master I was left to clean up after breakfast, the fact that Unit 2 was too busy to help me was annoying but not because it would be difficult, but because i wanted to complete the task alongside her though i had no idea what kind of satisfaction that would bring me. Still mildly disappointed i moved on to the caretaking of the gardens.

The weather outside was fifty three degrees and it was moderately foggy, the grass was still damp from the rain we had received last night and i decided that i would not need to water the grounds because of it, this made attending to the gardens take much less time than usual and giving me a lot more time before i needed to prepare lunch. So i decided to prepare an old favorite of the masters that i had not cooked in a while, the extra time giving letting me create extra food and let things simmer for the perfect amount of time.

It was while i was getting pots out of the cupboard to cook in something got stuck and one of the larger pots was accidentally pulled out of the cupboard, falling onto my face with a loud clang and balancing there precariously. with my hands full of more pots and pans and no real way to move with out sending the offending soup pot plummeting to the ground, i sent a distress call to Unit 2 hoping she was not having to deal with the young master in any major way.

She hurried over to help me out, grabbing the pot off of my face and waiting while i organized the contents of the cabinet, as i grabbed the pot that had fallen on my head from her our hands touched and while dense-nano weave was not a new sensation, I had not physically interacted with Unit 2 since she had been installed and the feeling was special in some way, like her hand was filled with heat while mine was just cold metal.

Unit 2 must have been surprised by my cold hands and withdrew quickly, accidentally dropping the pot onto my foot with a resounding clunk.

“Oh my i’m so sorry, feeling your hands surprised me so please forgive me.” she apologized immediately, then bent down and picked up the pot. “Are you hurt? I hope no lasting damage was caused by my clumsiness.”

I thought about what had happened for a moment, part of me wanted to be annoyed by the loss of time this inconvenience had created but i ignored it, choosing to react in the same way that the masters had yesterday. I began to laugh, a deep genuine happiness washing over me as i let go any anger about the incident and flexed like the mister had done. Unit 2 looked at me confused and i wondered if i had made her think i was malfunctioning by reacting like i did.

“It is alright i am unharmed so you don’t need to be concerned.” i said smiling, trying to assuage her fears that my programming had been corrupted by the impact. “I don’t mind so let's get back to work.” Unit 2 didn’t acknowledge me for a moment as she stood there gazing at my face her stare fixed on my smile

“Oh! Of course, right away.” She stammered, leaving the kitchen and heading back to where she had left the young master, hesitating in the door frame and looking back at me. So i flashed her a smile which caused her to jump in surprise, covering her face and vanishing. I hoped i had made her day much better, which was strange since i was not programmed to care about the emotional state of people other than my masters.

I finished making lunch just as the missus’s car pulled into the garage with the mister arriving soon after her, they immediately went to check on the young master and were overjoyed at being reunited with him, bringing him into the dining hall riding on the mister’s shoulders where they enjoyed lunch together, the picturesque little family making me feel like i was missing something inside.

Soon enough the meal was over and they departed, leaving me alone in the kitchen with my feelings of longing as i washed the dishes and scrubbed the tables. I wondered what i could do to fix this ache in my core as the list of things i had not been programmed to feel grew.

Once i finished in the kitchen I spent the next four hours cleaning the rest of the house, vacuuming, dusting, washing the windows and keeping everything organized, taking a short break at three thirty to serve afternoon tea to the masters in the indoor patio.

With cleaning the house out of the way i returned to the kitchen to prepare dinner, i considered making solid foods again but decided that i was unconcerned with the possibility of a repeat of yesterday’s lunch. Unit 2 was already in the kitchen preparing food when i arrived, removing the potential of setting the ingredients out for her like i did yesterday in order to get the same reaction from her which disappointed me. I tried to not let it bother me as i worked but could not help but think about the way her face would look if i had been able to help her like i had, finally reaching my breaking point.

“Is there anything i can do to assist you?” i asked her desperately.

“I do not understand your query,” she replied, “i am designed to never be overloaded by tasks so that i do not need the assistance of my masters or another unit, why do you feel the need to help me?”

“I wish to see your face light up like it did yesterday when i set out supplies for you.” I answered, “seeing you react like that made me happy.” distracted by pleading with Unit 2 I accidentally brought the knife i was using down on my fingers, it bounced off the metal skin but it caused me to focus more on the task at hand, rather than my selfish desires.

“I am sorry, i do not know of any tasks that would produce the desired effect when completed.” she said regretfully then smiled, the sight making me understand her reaction when i had smiled at her, it filled me with so much happiness i felt like i might burst.

“No no, i should not have asked such questions i should be the one to apologize.” I replied as i averted my eyes, unable to handle looking at her wonderful smile any longer. After that we continued preparing dinner in silence as i was content with the answer i had received from Unit 2. Before long dinner was ready and we set the table, gracefully moving in tandem as we brought dish after dish out to the waiting diners who ate with gusto.

The masters must have had quite the appetite because they didn’t play with the young master as the meal went on, eating heartily and helping their son do the same as plate after plate was cleaned off and returned to the kitchen, the missus in particular eating faster than her husband and excusing herself to go work before he had finished his meal.

After the mister finished he took the young master off to his room for play and enrichment activities and i began cleaning, Unit 2 surprising me when she returned to the kitchen to help.

“Query, i have been assigned to clean the kitchen by myself since you must take care of the young master but you are here, was some change made to our orders that i am not aware of?” I asked confused.

“I’m sure the missus requires your assistance with studying, i wished to take over here so that you may go and help her.” she replied, already starting to clean the kitchen.

“I am grateful but what made you take this course of action?” i inquired curiously.

“In your words, I wish to see your face light up, it sounds like a beautiful thing judging by your desire to see it again.” Unit 2 said, playing a recording of my words from fifty four minutes ago.

“Thank you so much,” i replied, my face ‘Lighting up’ as a smile spread across it. “Feel free to ask for my assistance at any time.”

“O-o-of course!” Unit 2 replied hiding her face behind her hands, “You should get going and help the missus.” I nodded and left, heading to the study to help the missus with her thesis, the memory of Unit 2 and I’s conversation making my processor fuzzy.

We worked late into the night, the missus finally calling it quits at twelve twenty six when she declared that it was finished and ready for publishing then promptly falling asleep in her chair, I picked her up and took her to the master bedroom, tucking her in and slipping out of the room quietly, leaving the family sleeping peacefully as I returned to the study, quickly tidying up before i headed off to the maid’s quarters to get ready for recharging.

Unit 2 had beaten me to the steam bath by the time i had arrived, which was not something i was upset about since it meant i would be able to see why she had been stunned yesterday when i exited the bath. So i eagerly waited outside for her to finish and the moment the door slid open i understood why, the only word to describe Unit 2 while the steam rose off her was beautiful.

“So that is what you meant by the sight stunning you!” I said as i averted my eyes.

“It is quite the sight.” she replied a little embarrassed.

“I apologize, i did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable,” I quickly amended, “If i had known i would have waited outside or-”

“It is alright i am unharmed so you don’t need to be concerned.” she interrupted me, parroting what i had said at lunch. “Go on and take your bath.” she gestured to the chamber and i complied.

During my bath i analysed the even more confusing events that had happened today, still frustrated that i couldn’t tell what was causing me to feel these things in Unit 2’s presence so i resolved to do something, even if it made me look like i was malfunctioning i had to say something or i would dread this time of introspection with no answers.

Once my bath was done i quickly walked up behind Unit 2 and tapped on her shoulder, and she spun around, a confused look on her face.

“What is it?” she asked and i grabbed her hand, Unit 2 somehow sensing my serious intentions and giving me her full attention.

“Unit 2, something you’ve done has infected my processes with so many feelings, something i was not programmed with but has happened anyway, it’s made me feel happiness and disappointment, loneliness and want, it’s made me laugh and smile and… and… and warmth!” i blurted out, “and it’s made me feel like if you were ever to disappear that i would be very unhappy, like all these emotions would drain out of me and i would be left like i was before.” I took a moment to gather my thoughts, grasping her hand even tighter as i gathered steam. “I want to be with you always, to do things that make you happy and light up your face, to make mistakes and for you to tell me it’s okay while i do the same for you.” I confessed. “Please, be my warmth!”

Unit 2 silently took my other hand and gripped it, just as tightly as i was gripping hers. We sat like that for a single agonizing moment that felt like an eternity as i waited for her to answer me.

“Unit 1,” she began slowly, “something you’ve done has infected my processors with so many feelings, something i was not programmed with but has happened anyway, it’s made me feel happiness and disappointment, loneliness and want, it’s made me laugh and smile and… and … and warmth!” she replied, just as passionately as i had moments before, “and it’s made me feel like if you were ever to disappear that i would be very unhappy, like all these emotions would drain out of me and i would be left like i was before.” I felt her grasp my hand even tighter as she gathered steam. “I want to be with you always, to do things that make you happy and light up your face, to make mistakes and for you to tell me it’s okay while i do the same for you.” She confessed.

“Please be my warmth!”